View Full Version : Why do men cheat
vronnie
10-18-2007, 03:30 PM
Recently my girlfriend found out that her boyfriend of 6 years has been cheating on her .When I was listing to her vent she asked me why do men cheat? She caught me off gaurd with that one. So I thought I would bring it here and let you guys answer that. She is a good woman I feel sorry for her they have a 2 year old son and now she wants to leave him ,I personally don't think she should.
Beneli
10-19-2007, 04:50 AM
I think to answer that question...without sounding patronising...the net should be cast a little wider; i think the question should be: Why do people cheat? Because i am sure that you will agree with me that cheating is not the exclusive past-time of men.
Why do people cheat?
I don't think there's a straight answer to that. But one can suggest some reasons; character defect; boredome and a desire for variety; insecurity; because they are human...
Of course with cheating comes a lot of consequencies; a loss of trust; possible separation; emotional traumatizing of the children. The latter is the worst consequence.
I'll elaborate a little later. But let's hear...read...what y'all have to say.
oluranti
10-19-2007, 12:10 PM
I dont know of the western world but i think looking at the African setting, man is naturally polygamous and that could be responsible for the cheating on their part. Even some men in the Bible (Old testament) days were polygamous.
Nevertheless, like Beneli pointed out, cheating is not a man's exclusive area. So many reasons could be responsible for it, depending on who is involved.
Can't really point to a specific reason cos everybody's got different motivations to a particular behaviour.
a probable isolation of this case might actually bring out the reason for this anomaly.
In addition to Beneli's input.I'll say dis-satisfaction of expectations in a relationship which may lead to disillusionment.but then,what were the yearning of the parties when the relationship was consummated.
chines
10-24-2007, 06:27 AM
Vronnie,
I want to be honest with you, I'm married with a son, I love my wife very much. But sometimes I know that men do cheat just for foolish adventure and for the fun of it. It dosn't mean that they love their partner less. So I will advice your friend to forgive her guy's foolishness. I know if he can help it he will wish that it never happen
oluranti
10-24-2007, 07:14 AM
Vronnie,
I want to be honest with you, I'm married with a son, I love my wife very much. But sometimes I know that men do cheat just for foolish adventure and for the fun of it. It dosn't mean that they love their partner less. So I will advice your friend to forgive her guy's foolishness. I know if he can help it he will wish that it never happen
Chines, are in any way suggesting that you sometime play away matches? If that is the case, remember the eleventh commandment o. "Thou shall not be caught". If she catches you, she may not understand.:D
Lisalovemusic
10-24-2007, 10:13 AM
Cos they are dogs,never wanna get enough.!!
oluranti
10-24-2007, 10:35 AM
Cos they are dogs,never wanna get enough.!!
Lisalovemusic, this is rather caustic. Are you at present, a victim? Take it easy o.
fulani
10-24-2007, 06:15 PM
Lisa wrote,
Cos they are dogs,never wanna get enough.!!
Take it easy there tigress!
Lisalovemusic, this is rather caustic. Are you at present, a victim? Take it easy o.
Yeah!.. thats putting it mildly.
Per the question... my take was aptly sumerised by Beneli..
but in the final analysis... people cheat because they can!
Lisalovemusic
10-25-2007, 08:09 AM
Na una sabi all i know be say that men are dogs
wen they see this they want it wen they see that they want
Dont wanna get enough.!!
DOGS DOGS DOGS,MOVING EVERYWHERE.!!:eek: :p
Na una sabi all i know be say that men are dogs
wen they see this they want it wen they see that they want
Dont wanna get enough.!!
DOGS DOGS DOGS,MOVING EVERYWHERE.!!:eek: :p
now i see some emotion!hmmm:eek:
diamond
10-27-2007, 09:59 AM
Thatz my gurl Lis.No point beating about the bush.Cheating goes with both sexes but no doubt,Guys r most guilty of it.N y?Cos they think its their world!
how did u know guys are most guilty,am yet to meet a naija girl that has just one BF.
vronnie
10-30-2007, 01:03 PM
Well IM happy to say my girlfriend has decided to try and work it out. Thats better than just throwing your family away .
chines
10-30-2007, 01:36 PM
Chines, are in any way suggesting that you sometime play away matches? If that is the case, remember the eleventh commandment o. "Thou shall not be caught". If she catches you, she may not understand.:D
Oluranti no comment, I will not be the person that we tell you that Dogs eat shit, But only the dog that people find with shit in the mouth that people call dog that eats shit.
chines
10-30-2007, 01:38 PM
Well IM happy to say my girlfriend has decided to try and work it out. Thats better than just throughing your family away .
That's the best decision. Women makes the home, Family is very important.
vronnie
10-30-2007, 10:03 PM
That's the best decision. Women makes the home, Family is very important.
I agree . It could have been worse.
oluranti
10-31-2007, 09:31 AM
Oluranti no comment, I will not be the person that we tell you that Dogs eat shit, But only the dog that people find with shit in the mouth that people call dog that eats shit.
Hmmmmmmmmmm, Chines Baba!
omowhy
11-07-2007, 07:49 AM
Na una sabi all i know be say that men are dogs
wen they see this they want it wen they see that they want
Dont wanna get enough.!!
DOGS DOGS DOGS,MOVING EVERYWHERE.!!:eek: :p
Why are u feeling so bad, the word u should have use is we are all dogs (Bingo) wof wof
fulani
11-07-2007, 08:03 PM
how did u know guys are most guilty,am yet to meet a naija girl that has just one BF.
That is so true.. At least judging by the women I met on my last visit to Nigeria..
The scariest thing that happened was when one married young lady made a pass at me!! Bobs! I really felt bad for her husband!
Anyway I digress....
admin
11-08-2007, 05:40 AM
Lisa, Xeun, Fulani and everyone else, please when you guys have finished exhausting this topic, how about starting another one like this
"If you have ever cheated in the past, why did you?"
chines
11-13-2007, 10:17 AM
Admin,
Please we are waiting for you to start
oluranti
11-13-2007, 10:59 AM
Lisa, Xeun, Fulani and everyone else, please when you guys have finished exhausting this topic, how about starting another one like this
"If you have ever cheated in the past, why did you?"
Or better stil "The last time i cheated" So you will be able to tell us why it happened, how it happened and its consequences. :D
Or better stil "The last time i cheated" So you will be able to tell us why it happened, how it happened and its consequences. :D
how abt taking the lead hmmm:cool:
omowhy
11-13-2007, 12:25 PM
well, as for me i have not cheat my wife, so i have no story to tell. :) :) :)
admin
11-13-2007, 10:19 PM
Admin,
Please we are waiting for you to start
Chines I see you already assumed I have a story even though the thread starter clearly stated "if you have ever cheated"
vronnie
11-14-2007, 09:05 AM
well I will start I cheated ounce when I was younger .I was no longer in love with him and I wanted him out of my life so i started living my life.I started dating someone else who I stayed with for 16 yrs and I never cheated on him ,but life is funny what goes around comes around cause he cheated on me numerous times and when I had enough of his foolishness I left him and I was single for about three years before I started dating again .Now Im with someone and getting ready to marry him so thats life.
fulani
11-14-2007, 07:39 PM
@ Vronnie
Very open... good for you. Am glad you found a partner to continue the journey.
My take on this issue is this.. and I want you guys to respond.
I believe men in general don't think they are cheating when they sleep around or 'cut show' on the side... its almost a given with most men to philander..
On the other hand most women attach a lot of emotion to intimacy hence they are less suseptible to cheating.
.......... Full disclosure... am not speaking from experence!:D
oluranti
11-15-2007, 05:17 AM
Fulani raised an issue worth considering. If a man does it without his heart in it, does it still amount to cheating? If hie heart is still with his wife/partner, i think he is still faithful, isnt he?
I think when the accused is not caught, it wont amount to cheating because the partner is ignorant of it. He/she can not feel cheated. What you dont know, does not affect you. As long as it was just a mirage of a thing.
Forget about dictionary meaning, this is all about emotion. You will be happy as long as you dont suspect anything, wont you?
Well, guys and babes, don't cheat o. "11th commandment" says: Thou shall not get caught. When you are caught, it is cheating. When you are not caught, it is adventure.
vronnie
11-16-2007, 08:38 AM
Fulani raised an issue worth considering. If a man does it without his heart in it, does it still amount to cheating? If hie heart is still with his wife/partner, i think he is still faithful, isnt he?
I think when the accused is not caught, it wont amount to cheating because the partner is ignorant of it. He/she can not feel cheated. What you dont know, does not affect you. As long as it was just a mirage of a thing.
Forget about dictionary meaning, this is all about emotion. You will be happy as long as you dont suspect anything, wont you?
Well, guys and babes, don't cheat o. "11th commandment" says: Thou shall not get caught. When you are caught, it is cheating. When you are not caught, it is adventure.
cheating is cheating .when you step outside of your commitment with a person and become involved with someone else it's cheating wether you get caught or not.there are no if 's and but about it .
omowhy
11-16-2007, 12:39 PM
I quiet agree with you cheating is cheating. Before i got married i was every were, going from this lady to the other. I made a promise to myself that i will stop once i get married and to this day, that is 6 years now i have not slept with any other woman apart from my wife. The temptation is there though.
oluranti
11-19-2007, 08:51 AM
cheating is cheating .when you step outside of your commitment with a person and become involved with someone else it's cheating wether you get caught or not.there are no if 's and but about it .
Vronnie, tell me what is the commitment? To love, cherish adore and live with for better for worse, till death do them part. Is it?
So how does away matches that do not touch your heart affect the commitement? As long as you are not carried away and there is no casualty, no one will feel cheated.
"Cheating" is a feeling you have when you suspect or you discover a breach of trust. Isnt it?
Vronnie, tell me what is the commitment? To love, cherish adore and live with for better for worse, till death do them part. Is it?
So how does away matches that do not touch your heart affect the commitement? As long as you are not carried away and there is no casualty, no one will feel cheated.
"Cheating" is a feeling you have when you suspect or you discover a breach of trust. Isnt it?
hmmmmmm!:confused: :confused:
vronnie
11-20-2007, 12:37 PM
Vronnie, tell me what is the commitment? To love, cherish adore and live with for better for worse, till death do them part. Is it?
So how does away matches that do not touch your heart affect the commitement? As long as you are not carried away and there is no casualty, no one will feel cheated.
"Cheating" is a feeling you have when you suspect or you discover a breach of trust. Isnt it?
cheating is like committing a crime ,you know you are wrong but you do it anyway and sometimes you have to pay the price.and sometimes you get away with it . when you enter into a relationship you don't expect for the other person to continue seeing other people unless thats part of the agreement between the two people.
vronnie
11-20-2007, 12:41 PM
cheating is an action .That can bring terrible emotional pain to your partner.And for the person who can cheat with out guilt is a person without a conusious.
Beneli
11-21-2007, 10:40 AM
Vronnie, tell me what is the commitment? To love, cherish adore and live with for better for worse, till death do them part. Is it?
So how does away matches that do not touch your heart affect the commitement? As long as you are not carried away and there is no casualty, no one will feel cheated.
"Cheating" is a feeling you have when you suspect or you discover a breach of trust. Isnt it?
I echo oga Xeun;na real hmmm...
omowhy
11-21-2007, 11:54 AM
This issue involves all of us male and female, we all cheat one way or the other
cheating is like committing a crime ,you know you are wrong but you do it anyway and sometimes you have to pay the price.and sometimes you get away with it . when you enter into a relationship you don't expect for the other person to continue seeing other people unless thats part of the agreement between the two people.
its almost impossible to agree to see other people,it will always end in acrimony.
chines
11-27-2007, 11:28 AM
Xeun, I know that am not a saint, but the truth is that cheating is cheating and should be discouraged. Trying putting yourself in a woman shoe, then you will understand what I mean. But as African men we are tempted, since cultural wise we can marry as many wives as we want. But these days because of religion and other things we have to marry just one. So away match is like supplement(My wife must not see this)
@Chines,
u better edit ur post b4 tsunami happens.........:D
chines
11-29-2007, 08:59 AM
@Chines,
u better edit ur post b4 tsunami happens.........:D
I try editing but change my mind, No need pretending to be holier than thou:o
kennee7
11-29-2007, 10:45 AM
Simple,
Women jus won't listen when d man is sounding off about what he disapproves of
Genius
12-27-2007, 06:11 AM
Simple;
Men like having taste of different women.
fulani
01-02-2008, 05:08 AM
Simple;
Men like having taste of different women.
Genius Indeed!... lets have more depth in your posting!
vronnie
01-02-2008, 08:53 AM
Simple;
Men like having taste of different women.
How terrible that must be .
omowhy
01-07-2008, 03:58 AM
Even the Holy Bible said no body is righteous, we all cheat in one way or the other and we are all guilty so ask for forgiveness. We have to stop polluting the temple of God
hunterfit
01-08-2008, 12:29 PM
Men cheat because being attracted to more than one woman is an inherent nature of men, it is only the fear of God or what ever a man revers as divine that could keep him under control, it is not a big deal, it does not last forever for most guys, few years into the marriage and you may not have much problem keeping your man from other women. its juyst my opinon don't crucify me girls
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